Leadership Without the Safety Net: What Fighter Pilots Know That Most Leaders Don’t

Leadership Without the Safety Net

What Fighter Pilots Know That Most Leaders Don’t

By: Angela Gill Nelms

We love to romanticize elite performance…that can look like fighter pilots,  Blue Angels, and high-stakes missions at 30,000 feet.

But it feels distant, like something reserved for a different kind of human.

Here’s the truth, though: The difference isn’t talent, it’s actually discipline.

In my recent conversation with Scott Kartvedt (former F-18 pilot, Blue Angel, and stunt pilot for Top Gun: Maverick) we didn’t just talk about flying. We talked about what it actually takes to operate at the highest level when failure is not an option.

And the biggest lesson? It’s that most leaders are skipping the very thing that makes elite performance possible.

The Habit Most Leaders Avoid (and Pay For Later)

So, let’s talk about debriefs, and I don’t mean the “nice job, team” version. I mean REAL debriefs!

The kind where we…

1. Dissect what actually happened
2. Call out what went wrong
3. Take ownership without defensiveness
4. Fix it before it costs you again

In aviation, this isn’t an optional piece, but instead a requirement for survival.

But in leadership, on the other hand, it’s often avoided.

But why?? Well, that’s because it’s uncomfortable! And not to mention that it requires accountability, and it forces you to confront the gap between what you think happened and what actually happened.

But here’s the reality: If you’re not debriefing, you’re guessing…and guessing is expensive.

Trust Isn’t Built in the moment; It’s Built Before

One of the most powerful themes from our conversation was TRUST.

And that’s not the kind we talk about in corporate workshops, but the kind that determines whether people live or die (it sounds intense, but it’s true!).

In elite teams, trust is built through:

1. Repetition
2. Preparation
3. Consistency under pressure

It’s not built in the big moment, but it is the big moment that reveals whether or not you’re prepared.

And, unfortunately, that’s where most leaders get it wrong. They expect trust to show up when things get hard….but without doing the work when things are easy.

If your team hasn’t practiced clarity, accountability, and feedback before the pressure hits, don’t expect magic when it does!

Preparation Is a Leadership Strategy (Not a Personality Trait)

We tend to admire confidence. I mean, who amongst us can’t appreciate the swagger of someone who seems like they’ve got it figured out??

But what we’re actually seeing, even at the highest levels, is preparation. That’s because elite performers don’t “wing it” (no pun intended!).

They rehearse, simulate, and mentally walk through scenarios before they ever step into them.

And yeah, that’s not overkill, that’s just the job.

And yet in leadership, we still celebrate:

1. Improvisation over preparation
2. Charisma over clarity
3. Speed over discipline

But let me be blunt: If you’re relying on charisma to carry you, you’re building a fragile system because preparation is what makes performance repeatable.

Accountability Without Ego

Are you ready? Because here’s where it gets uncomfortable.

In high-performance environments, rank doesn’t protect you. That means…

• If you made the mistake, you own it.
• If you missed something, you say it.
• If the system failed, you fix it.

And that’s the standard most leadership teams say they want…but don’t actually enforce. And who cares what you claim to want when you’re not actually following through with it and putting your money where your mouth is!?

The moment accountability gets real, like it or not, people tend to get quiet. So if you want a high-functioning team, you don’t get to pick and choose when accountability applies.

It’s either part of your culture, or it’s not. And that’s a call that you as a leader have to make.

The Real Question for Leaders

You don’t need to fly a fighter jet to operate like this.

But you do need to decide:

1. Are you actually building systems that make your team better over time?
2. Are you creating space for honest feedback, or avoiding it?
3. Are you preparing with intention, or reacting in real time?

Because the gap between average and elite isn’t dramatic, but rather it’s built in the small, repeatable disciplines most people skip.

Your Next Move (Don’t Overthink This)

So start simple! I know this can seem overwhelming, but you’ve got this.

After your next meeting, project, or decision, start by running a 10-minute debrief and ask the questions:

1. What worked?
2. What didn’t?
3. What do we change next time?

And don’t get defensive if you hear an answer you don’t love!

When you do these debriefs consistently, you’ll start to feel the shift, because leadership isn’t about having all the answers, but about building a system where the truth shows up fast (and gets used).

Watch my full conversation with Scott here:

🎙 Want more bold moves and leadership fuel?
If you want the full conversation (and trust me—you do), check out the full episode with Scott.

Every day, Be Brave. Be Badass™.