What is a . . . Friend??

“Have you read your friendship manual today?”

This is one of my favorite quotes from a dear friend. I liked it so much that I now share it with my “friends” (you know, the ones who tease you endlessly because they “love” you so much!).

I love to follow John Maxwell’s “Word of the Day” and his recent word “Togetherness” made me ponder friendship.  (Click here to listen to what John thinks of the word:  http://johnmaxwellteam.com/togetherness/).

How awesome is togetherness with the right person!  The friend who knows your skeletons and still loves you.  The friend who is halfway over to your house already when you call desperate for help, love, a hug, and wisdom.

Wisdom…ahhh, that is my key to friendship!  Who do I want to be together with?  What does my friendship manual say about true friends?  Here is what I believe:

“Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.”
― John C. Maxwell

1.  A TRUE friend tells you the truth, even when you wish they would lie and tell you what YOU want to hear!

 Yes, my favorite friends are NOT the ones who tell me that I am always awesome, I am always wise, and anyone who hurts me is just evil. They are NOT the ones who laugh at all of my jokes or tell me, “Wow, you look like you have lost weight!”  The “agree with Angela” people are not my true friends.

My true friends are the ones who pray for me to keep making the right but hard choices in life. The ones who tell me that if I had a DeLorean to go back in time to fix my mistakes…I would have a lot of stops (hum, who recently said that to me?;). People who say, “What are you thinking settling for that? Push yourself for more!! ”

2.  True friends make me a better person.

“When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.”
― Unknown

True friends make me want to strive to do more, be more, expect more, love more, hug more, serve more, etc.  They encourage me to take risks outside of my comfort zone.  They help me learn to trust other “safe people”.  They point out those unpleasant character traits of Angela and help me grow through them with prayer, love, and support.  True friends are people I look at and say, “I can learn this lesson from my friend…and it will make me a better person”.

3.  When you hang out with a true friend you haven’t seen in a long time…you pick right up where you left off!

Absolutely! Here’s a clearer version:

These friends are so genuine that even after a long time apart, you can hang out with them and feel like no time has passed. Why is that? Because my friend is always being herself. She isn’t trying to be someone she’s not. She remains the same amazing person who makes me laugh just like she did two months, years, or even decades ago!

4.  True friends have your back….in prayer if nowhere else.

True Friends Strengthen and Help Each Other 
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

These are the people who genuinely pray for you, or think of you, when they say they will. Have you ever noticed that some people say, “I will pray for you,” but never actually do it? I know this from experience, as I have been one of those people. It’s easy to get caught up in Facebook, emails, TV shows, and other distractions, leaving little time to actually sit down and pray. True friends are those who take the time to pray for you, and even better, they will pray with you right then and there.

5.  True friends LOVE.

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends

True friends love unconditionally. No matter how foolish I may be or what flaws I have, they continue to love me. A true friend seeks forgiveness when they have wronged you and offers forgiveness when you have wronged them. They always communicate with you and through you in a spirit of love.

It sounds easy but true friendship is both easy and hard. Trust me – if you find the right “friends” who will truly love and support you then friendship will be easy. I just want to encourage you to embrace it and thrive in it now. Seek good friends and be a good friend.

Have you read your friendship manual today?