Why do I run?

After I completed my first half-marathon I finally said, “I am a runner”.  That was pretty cool to say and I believe most of my friends already assumed that was the case.  The fact is, however, I used to HATE to run…

In high school I knew I needed a scholarship if I had any chance of going to a good college.  I set my eyes on either the Air Force Academy or an Air Force ROTC scholarship.  My grades were very good however my SAT and ACT scores were horrible!  In order to make myself stand out I needed to letter in some sport.  This was a very big problem.  I couldn’t play football, soccer, or tennis.  I was way too slow to qualify for track.  I was an excellent swimmer however we didn’t have a swim team.  Marching band and my saxophone skills didn’t really count as a “sport”.  The only thing left was cross country coached by my physics teacher. Kill me now!

I don’t recall ever having to tryout for the team.  I think we weren’t any good, didn’t have enough runners, and they would take anyone stupid enough to run 3-5 miles everyday after school in 90+ Georgia heat.  However I pulled it off I got onto the team and began my misery.  I seriously hated it and I was absolutely horrible at it.  Especially the day after getting caught skipping school by my mom…who then turned me in at school and my physics teacher/cross country couch was there to observe…and suffered a 5 mile lecture about how uncool it was to skip school…

I lettered in CC (I think everyone did), got the scholarship, and avoided running as much as possible for 19 years.  Instead I took up hiking and became passionate about hiking all over the world.  Everest Base Camp in Tibet, Torres del Paine in Chile, the Grand Canyon, etc. were the trips I LIVED for each year.  I loved being outside in nature and enjoying the adventure!!

Sadly I started to develop significant arthritis in the joint of my big toe on my right foot.  I called my dad to thank him for the crappy genes and his response was, “Be grateful!  You could have gotten ugly and stupid!”.  Good one Dad!  This arthritis was so bad that my entire foot would swell up after any period of standing, driving, or walking.  Hiking, my passion, was OUT OF THE QUESTION.  I sucked it up and had my first foot surgery.  It was a nightmare (thanks to all of my nurse friends who neglected to tell me that foot and bone surgeries are the most painful…double whammy here!) and it only made the issue even worse.

In May 2011 I had my second surgery to put two screws into the joint.  The physician told me he had patients who later ran marathons after this surgery.  I laughed my head off and told him that would NEVER be me.  I merely wanted to hike again.  I wasn’t stupid enough to pick up running (yes, I said that…kinda funny…).  After three months of crutches, no driving, and no walking I was released to resume normal activities.  In February 2012 I was cleared to run.

During all of this time I continued to feel frustrated with the lack of hiking friends.  A girl and her dog were murdered hiking and camping alone and so this didn’t seem like an option.  I had a friend I wanted to spend more time with and she hated to camp but loved to run.  So, for some insane reason I let her talk me into running my first 5K at the 2012 Warrior Dash.

OMG…it was awesome.  It was amazing!  I pulled it off with screws in my foot.  I loved the challenge and the success.  I loved the feeling deep inside of me of overcoming such a huge hurdle for me.  She then threw out 10K talk…and I sucked it up and signed my name.

The completion of my first Peachtree Road Race (10k) was huge for me.  I was so proud.  I felt wonderful.  I agreed to run a half marathon in 2013 with her at Disney.

I later began to think about it and decided I wanted to complete my first 5k, 10k, 15k, and half marathon in 2012.  So on Thanksgiving Day I completed the last of these goals and I finally felt like a real runner!!

But…why??  Furthermore, why am I now training for my first marathon in 2013 (say it ain’t so!!)?  Why do I now love to run?

The only talent required with long distance running is stubbornness.  You just have to be too stubborn to give up!  That is it. 

Ding, ding, ding…this is me to a T.  I am determined, focused, and too stubborn to not make it to the end.  No matter what your speed is EVERYONE starts and finishes at the same lines.

Even better – my journey has helped to inspire others to run and get in shape.  My heart sings!!  There is no greater feeling than to know you gave someone the courage to make the next step towards a healthier life.  You said they could do it…and they did.  How awesome is that??

Where do I go from here?  This year I am running another half marathon (it will be my third), completing the Tough Mudder (11 miles of insane obstacles), running a Color Run 5k with my mom (her first race ever…so very excited!!), competing in my first triathlon, completing a relay marathon with great friends, and….what I said I would NEVER do…hopefully running my first marathon at the Medtronic Twin Cities Marathon in Oct. 2013.

In the midst of this excitement I also know that I run because it allows me to feel grounded in a period of my life where I feel very ungrounded.  My next career move is up in the air.  I feel at a crossroads and literally petrified of making the next step forward.  Deciding what I really want, need, and hope for in most of my life has me dumbfounded, frustrated, depressed, and overwhelmed.  So, until I make that step at the fork…I will continue to run and run and run praying to land grounded everywhere in life.